On February 29th, we conquered our debt. Since then it has been a struggle to save as much money as humanly possible to make home ownership possible.
Would someone give us a home loan? Yes. Would it be stupid to accept the loan? Also yes.
It's a struggle because we really deserve a house, but that doesn't mean we can afford it. While crunching the numbers, I realized something. We rely heavily upon my income as a piano teacher. If we move away from this area, I lose the students I love and it would leave us unable to pay our bills. We will need enough in savings to supplement our income while I build my business elsewhere.
If we stayed here, it wouldn't be a problem. The dilemma is, houses are very expensive in this area, too small, or "a diamond in the rough" which is code for a fixer upper, which often the VA won't cover. The home has to be "habitable" and there doesn't seem to be any exact guidelines as to what that means. We don't want to spend $400 on an inspection and have the VA reject the house.
We will need enough in savings for earnest money, inspections, possibly appliances, and for life's usual emergencies - car repairs, ER visits, etc. We are more determined than ever not to use credit cards again. With a mortgage payment, we would be in an even worse position to get out of debt.
We started home shopping and I was filled with terrible anxiety that made it difficult to eat or sleep. I know there will be a certain level of nervousness that will be normal. It's a huge decision. But it just felt wrong. I realize now that we weren't providing enough cushion for emergencies or the fact that our van is 12 years old.
Two weeks ago, we were getting ready for a vacation with my family when the radiator cracked and coolant exploded all over. It was a blessing that we made an unusual visit to my parents' house without the kids because if we hadn't, it would have happened on the way to the ocean with all of our stuff packed. That would have been horrible. We had to take my husband's gas guzzling truck that had broken down just the week before on the way to Cub Camp, so I was pretty much about to have a panic attack. What if both of our vehicles ended up in the shop?
Thankfully, we made it there and back, and picked up the van. After a $750+ bill, I didn't feel reassured that everything was fine. The engine sounded normal, but there were brief periods of time that it seemed less powerful. I decided to take it only short distances for the next few weeks or so. On Saturday, I took a trip to our farmers market, then to Costco, and one last stop to get gas. When I started it, it hesitated pretty badly. We made it home with all of our frozen food and right after I turned it off, I decided to test it.
Just the slightest noise and then it was dead. Our mechanic wasn't in, so we decided to just enjoy the weekend and do what we planned. This morning my husband tried to jump start it, which he has done plenty of times, but there was a large spark. The headlights and dome light came on for a couple seconds and then it was so dead, the tow truck driver couldn't even put it in neutral using the gear shift. Our mechanic said not to worry - it probably wouldn't have damaged the computer.
Still, I am dreading hearing the news of what's wrong and how much it's going to cost. I'm wondering at what point do we cave and decide it's time to buy another vehicle. We can't afford much. When we bought our van, we had to do a $1400 repair less than a year later. What's the sense of having a car payment if you're going to make a series of expensive repairs anyway?
I'm stressed, but I'm also grateful that we aren't currently trying to handle this situation and a mortgage at the same time. As a friend told me recently, "My mom always said to put away savings for something you want really bad so you can use it for something you don't want."
I feel like we're taking two steps forward and one step back, but I'm trying to see all of the positive things in this situation. We didn't break down at the side of the road. Most of my piano students are on vacation and it would have been much harder to break down during my busiest time. I have friends who are willing to help me. Best of all, we have money in savings! I'm just hoping for not terrible news tomorrow that will allow us to keep most of it.
